Life in West Virginia

NEW DIRECTIONS CAN BE SCARY . . .

with the predicament I have with my back problems (forthwith known as GENERAL ISSUE 1~~GE1), issues, disease, whatever. That in itself has become a cycle of paperwork and roadblocks that are forcing me to live ~~if you can call it that, I call it "sucking life"~~the way that I am now. There is hopelessness, helplessness, anger, rage, sadness, desperation and hiding that from small children is a HARD task.

Then it becomes a matter of well, the clothes are in the basement because you are unable to carry them upstairs. You can't make 128 trips up and down the stairs and carry "smaller" loads. I AM LOL. I find work arounds for some tasks and others I just gave up on. The dishes in the yard. Yes, hillbilly trash I am !! WINK WINK. My bathroom is very clean most of the time unless I have rummaged through all the wicker and cloth baskets; the smallish see-thru storage boxes looking for that tube of Clearasil. Or the last Band-Aid. Extra stash of Blistex, just in case. LOL I do find it though and so I wipe off the shelves of the 4 tier stand that fits neatly between the wall and the shower to hold all that goes in a bathroom~~besides the three tier stand that holds the everyday items~~hair do-dads, brushes, combs, detangler, toothpaste (seriously, it does not fit in the medicine cabinet nor is there room on the free standing sink basin), Clean and Clear + cotton pads because at 41 I still have extremely oily skin and will get pimples if I don't use daily.

And so the new ideas. You know I am allergic to NSAIDs which would reduce swelling in my back and make my life rich and pleasurable for stretches of time . . . . maybe start a regimine of Naproxin and Benydryl. I had a referral to WVU Spine Center and did manage to find the paperwork from 3 years ago with the phones numbers and such. I also clipped out an ad for one of the "decompression" and laser treatment centers that has opened in our area under Dr. Patel, from whom I received the steroidal epidurals in the past. Those did not help much but maybe this will. The relief I get now is from steriods doses, received at the ER as my doctor retired. Try and get a new Family Physician on Medicare. It is a joke. I feel like I am on Medicaid/with an HMO again trying to find a Doc. Laughably, once more, there is something called "straight medicaid" which I found if you let your other "lapse" by not showing up for your scheduled appointment and review and in turn, wait until the old coverage would lapse ONE day, go in and do the review and ~~~ANGELS ON HIGH SINGING~~~ YOU COULD SEE WHOEVER THE HELL YOU WANTED WITHOUT REFERRALS INCLUDING NEUROSURGEONS. Which is how I "worked" it to get one to take me. Come on, we all know I am smart and can accomplish REMARKABLE things. Remember the Child Support Modification AFTER Joey turned 19 and I didn't even have a current order in place??? Come on folks. Who can pull THAT shit off???? Now I am ROFLMAO. Mood Adjustment just occured. Up 3 notches.

That was two years after the first surgery and I showed up at a "Quick Fix" place with marked weakness in my right arm and pain in my neck and between my shoulder blades. They immediately sent me for an MRI which showed much deterioration from the MRI following my first surgery for the acute herniation L5/S1 and whose side effects from which I never really recovered, besides getting the feeling back in my left calf. Instead having bulging discs, its was decided it was really early onset spinal stenosis that I had and not arthritic changes or something I had done in an accident, being sedentary, slightly overwieght, etc etc etc etc etc etc.

I am 41 years old and my mom wonders when I am going to get it together. I only pray to God everyday I had the physical and mental facilities to overcome every damn obstacle the HE has put in my path. There must be a reason for it. To make me stronger?? Damn, I will tell you what, to be where I am now, considering I deal with all the obstacles of GE1 and the bi-polar/depression/add I am already strong. WHICH LEADS ME TO THE CONCLUSION. FRIGGIN SCARY.

Just really wondering what HE has in store for me that I am going to have to be so MUCH STRONGER ?????? Mood Adjustment Down -1


and just between me and you me and the tree, bet its the house. But I have been wrong before and if not, may HE forgive me for the anger and frustration and I will admit I was wrong about the house.

Gotta run, I think some fish are calling my name today in Jackson County~~and because its so friggin wet, man are the worms easy as a piece of pie to get to. Grubs too. Who were the fishermen in the bible to Jesus?

posted by Tracey @ 1/28/2012 11:27:00 AM 0 What Ya'll Said link post

TRACEY HAS BEEN A VERY . . .

busy girl since her last post. Lots of drama, but not much that would be worth reading about to many folks. Charleigh-Anne is growing by leaps and bounds and will be attending Kindergarten this year. At her pre-school graduation I almost fell out of the pew because I could not believe the performance that once shy little girl put on. "Who Stole the Cookie From the Cookie Jar" was Charleigh-Anne; her and two other girl with them singing it and her saying "NOT ME"! Even 4 months prior to that I don't know that she was courageous enough to do that in front of so many people. Growing up secluded as she was, although, by no means, not exposed to people, she was so shy and nervous; had her feeling hurt during her first year of pre-school by the tiniest things. Being so rural and having no virtually no playmate her age, she really got all she wanted because well, when you are 2 or 3 and your playmate is 6 or 12 or 17, you always get your way. Mt. Pleasant Pre-School prepared her well for Kindergarten with her education and also did wonders with helping her grow socially to "survive" the real world out there.



For you out there just getting to know me the 5 year old has a 21 year old brother, my son Joey. You older followers know him as my cranky, but loving helpful, messy, greatest big brother in the world, ROTC, Boy Scout, argumentative, brilliant teenager. He's 21 now. And he's getting married on September 5th to our (Mom's) adopted daughter Tasha. Well not legally, but Mom saw her through High School and lived with her and Charleigh-Anne tells everyone that her sister Tasha is in TX and is buying her a Rapunzal dress. (Natasha is in the Navy, she graduated from the Boot Camp at the Grayslake Naval Training Center on May 6th, which Joey and I attended on a marathon trip, literally. (that's another story for another day but it started out with us leaving at 8:30pm May 5th from my house and arriving in Great Lake at 5am and supposed to be at the Command Center for check-in at 7am; didn't even know if we could get in our room, but we could and did, ty Comfort Suites of Grayslake, IL

We had a fantastic time.

Gotta run for now, trading daylight for darkness as dad would say.

posted by Tracey @ 8/09/2011 07:30:00 PM 0 What Ya'll Said link post

TIRED of JUDGEMENT, SICK OF DISAPPROVAL

as we can well see, i had enough gas to make it back home in my own car and not steal kim's; nor get stuck there as i had posted around earlier. as you can tell from the time of my post, it was 10:00; the time Rockport store closes, ergo, couldn't put gas in the car, chancy making it HOME and certainly not to MINERAL WELLS! Stephanie's copy of her Dad's obituary that her Aunt had a copy of for her got tossed somehow. So when I told her I had copy of the Sunday paper while explaining my newpaper ordeal (WTF I will explain the Newguy WHUCKHEAD) in the Explorer, rec'd it with my Monday paper, on Monday but rec'd a paper box after receving the paper fora year. I got the box on Sunday morning, which laid in my yard in the mud, nothing in it. Annnnyyyhooo it was at Kim's house, along with Contact Paper, since I had recently lost all my shit in my wallet when Charleigh and myself somehow LOST said wallet between her having it in her hand and me unloading $74 worth of items, starting the car, putting the cart away, and making sure she was fastened in as she has just started being able to to this herself in my car . . . (DEEP EXASPARATING GASP for LAST BREATH of LIFE, BeCAUSE THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE END) and had been trying all day to laminate or contact paper all the paper shit that i carry in my wallet (mostly while punkin ate 3 nuggets and most of her fries at BK playground with really no one to play with but a 3 yo boy for about 30 and a 2 yo girl for about 3 minutes cuz her grandma said "TWO!" and that's ALL and then they was going SHOPPING and the other kid left with HIS grandma to go to KMART to get HIM a toy. YEAH lucky me. Eoungh money to buy oil, pay to get it changed (already had bought the filter) and put some gas in it tomorrow. And gas of course to get to the store in the AM. No money for toys. ANYHOOOOOOOOOOO i got sidetracked MAKING SURE THAT I DO ONE G*!DAM$Ed THING GOOD FOR SOMEONE. See something important thru. I missed her call. Didn't call back cuz i was wallowing in my own self-pity. I need to be a better person. the store closed, my mom saw my post and now i am well, a waste of life.

posted by Tracey @ 3/29/2011 08:29:00 PM 0 What Ya'll Said link post

THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME WEBSITE EVER

for those of us who can't keep track of anything. Including our phones.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/19RFwQ/www.icantfindmyphone.com/

If you lose your cell phone all the time and are constantly using another phone to find it, but always lost THAT phone, here is the answer! Provided you haven't forgotten the password to your computer

posted by Tracey @ 3/03/2011 04:55:00 AM 0 What Ya'll Said link post

THE ONLY THING I MISS ABOUT THE SNOW

at this point is the padding it provided on the road. Our roads are tire-eaters out there. Of course, at this point, I have almost all the potholes laid out in my head, so I am like a NASCAR driver on a road course, dodging the deep one and the really rough patches; slowing down when there is just no going around any of it.

Didn't know that Leap Frog (registered trademark) makers of the learning gadget Tag, had items other than books that went along with the Tag Reading System. Found a neato map of the US on Amazon. Punkin loves it.

posted by Tracey @ 3/03/2011 02:59:00 AM 0 What Ya'll Said link post