Life in West Virginia

NEW DIRECTIONS CAN BE SCARY . . .

with the predicament I have with my back problems (forthwith known as GENERAL ISSUE 1~~GE1), issues, disease, whatever. That in itself has become a cycle of paperwork and roadblocks that are forcing me to live ~~if you can call it that, I call it "sucking life"~~the way that I am now. There is hopelessness, helplessness, anger, rage, sadness, desperation and hiding that from small children is a HARD task.

Then it becomes a matter of well, the clothes are in the basement because you are unable to carry them upstairs. You can't make 128 trips up and down the stairs and carry "smaller" loads. I AM LOL. I find work arounds for some tasks and others I just gave up on. The dishes in the yard. Yes, hillbilly trash I am !! WINK WINK. My bathroom is very clean most of the time unless I have rummaged through all the wicker and cloth baskets; the smallish see-thru storage boxes looking for that tube of Clearasil. Or the last Band-Aid. Extra stash of Blistex, just in case. LOL I do find it though and so I wipe off the shelves of the 4 tier stand that fits neatly between the wall and the shower to hold all that goes in a bathroom~~besides the three tier stand that holds the everyday items~~hair do-dads, brushes, combs, detangler, toothpaste (seriously, it does not fit in the medicine cabinet nor is there room on the free standing sink basin), Clean and Clear + cotton pads because at 41 I still have extremely oily skin and will get pimples if I don't use daily.

And so the new ideas. You know I am allergic to NSAIDs which would reduce swelling in my back and make my life rich and pleasurable for stretches of time . . . . maybe start a regimine of Naproxin and Benydryl. I had a referral to WVU Spine Center and did manage to find the paperwork from 3 years ago with the phones numbers and such. I also clipped out an ad for one of the "decompression" and laser treatment centers that has opened in our area under Dr. Patel, from whom I received the steroidal epidurals in the past. Those did not help much but maybe this will. The relief I get now is from steriods doses, received at the ER as my doctor retired. Try and get a new Family Physician on Medicare. It is a joke. I feel like I am on Medicaid/with an HMO again trying to find a Doc. Laughably, once more, there is something called "straight medicaid" which I found if you let your other "lapse" by not showing up for your scheduled appointment and review and in turn, wait until the old coverage would lapse ONE day, go in and do the review and ~~~ANGELS ON HIGH SINGING~~~ YOU COULD SEE WHOEVER THE HELL YOU WANTED WITHOUT REFERRALS INCLUDING NEUROSURGEONS. Which is how I "worked" it to get one to take me. Come on, we all know I am smart and can accomplish REMARKABLE things. Remember the Child Support Modification AFTER Joey turned 19 and I didn't even have a current order in place??? Come on folks. Who can pull THAT shit off???? Now I am ROFLMAO. Mood Adjustment just occured. Up 3 notches.

That was two years after the first surgery and I showed up at a "Quick Fix" place with marked weakness in my right arm and pain in my neck and between my shoulder blades. They immediately sent me for an MRI which showed much deterioration from the MRI following my first surgery for the acute herniation L5/S1 and whose side effects from which I never really recovered, besides getting the feeling back in my left calf. Instead having bulging discs, its was decided it was really early onset spinal stenosis that I had and not arthritic changes or something I had done in an accident, being sedentary, slightly overwieght, etc etc etc etc etc etc.

I am 41 years old and my mom wonders when I am going to get it together. I only pray to God everyday I had the physical and mental facilities to overcome every damn obstacle the HE has put in my path. There must be a reason for it. To make me stronger?? Damn, I will tell you what, to be where I am now, considering I deal with all the obstacles of GE1 and the bi-polar/depression/add I am already strong. WHICH LEADS ME TO THE CONCLUSION. FRIGGIN SCARY.

Just really wondering what HE has in store for me that I am going to have to be so MUCH STRONGER ?????? Mood Adjustment Down -1


and just between me and you me and the tree, bet its the house. But I have been wrong before and if not, may HE forgive me for the anger and frustration and I will admit I was wrong about the house.

Gotta run, I think some fish are calling my name today in Jackson County~~and because its so friggin wet, man are the worms easy as a piece of pie to get to. Grubs too. Who were the fishermen in the bible to Jesus?

posted by Unknown @ 1/28/2012 11:27:00 AM