Life in West Virginia: ARE YOU THERE BLOG? ITS ME TRACEY

Monday, December 07, 2009

ARE YOU THERE BLOG? ITS ME TRACEY

ME: "Here we are, only 5 short days until my 39th birthday."

BLOG: "Wow. How can you be that old and still be such a case? My God when are you going to get your life together? I suppose that you have had some setbacks that were not your fault but stronger people would have put that past them and moved on. You have also made some terrible mistakes to fuck up some things in your life but at least no one died and you walked away."

Now that I can talk to myself straight, I am hoping for a better year around the corner. Things have not gone well this year at all. Things didn't end on a high note last year that is for sure. Mom would like to blame Kim but it isn't all his fault. His daughter had a lot to do with the issues that brought us here last year but Kim did drag me down his hole this year that is for damn sure. If he doesn't stop smoking pot, I am going to literally beat his ass in his sleep and that's a promise the police can find right here in this blog, my premeditation. Seems like my birthday sucked last year--it did--I spent it with Greg--it didn't really suck, just me and Kim were not getting along because of his daughter and Chris.

This year, it will be the weekend after he pulled the stunt of taking Mike to run errands and never came home with Mom's truck and I went and got it with Bridgette. He was gambling, of course. Spent all his money and God only knows how much his bank account is overdrawn. No money for Christmas again this year. I was going to get his daughter diamond earrings; buy things for Punkin and Joey and I have Mom pretty much covered. I also wanted to get him a few things but looks like that's not going to happen. Like I wanted to replace his knife. Those dogs had to have picked the son of a bitching thing up. How they did so without slicing their mouths open, I don't know.

My bi-polar is okay as long as Kim doesn't do anything to trigger it but I am getting to the point that I no longer care, so, I don't have as many triggers. I HAVE GOT to be getting closer to a hearing date for my disability . . . dear God how much longer could it be?!?! Of course, every month just adds another month they owe . . . right now, we are looking into February for a hearing date, if I get notified now and I am looking at a lump of more than $12,000--I am guessing closer to $15,000, that's after lawyer fees. That's all IF we win my case. With my stenosis like it is, coupled with my bi-polar and ongoing bouts of depression, I can't work. Particularly with my back. Minor housework and I am reaching for the pills. I can do without them if I don't do anything like, bending over and picking up after a toddler however, my life is not such. I don't have a maid or a nanny. I don't have Kim around 24/7 to lift Punkin when needed into a car or Bridgette to carry her for me (of course, Punkin can walk on her own now, but she CAN'T climb into either of the vehicles I drive, at least not without getting mud all over herself).

I am done with the drinking--maybe one or two here or there haven't had more than that since i can remember. Last summer? Maybe once in September I had 5 . . .

Now with Punkin in school, (I know, you have heard it ALL BEFORE BLOG) maybe I can really make a concentrated effort to pick back up on my blog and satirize Life In WV and talk about my own Life along the way (and some of Kim's, although he waffles . . . "I don't want anything about ME on the internet" but last winter it was "we oughta post this picture on the internet"--click, "done honey, you are on the internet". LMAO anyway, he is on the internet in various forms whether he likes it or not, via public records thru the county clerks office, sex offender registry (NO NO JUST KIDDING FOLKS!!!!!) FBI'S MOST WANTED, etc. Just Kidding People . . . except the via public records thing . . . wood county is one of the few in the State of WV that you can view public records online and well, we all have a few . . . they range from birth announcements to tax liens, to judgements for fines against your license, real estate transactions, bankruptcy, divorce, etc, general judgements in court against you for money, to death certificates issued. No way out anymore.

Punkin is enjoying preschool, she is doing well, the school Christmas thing is next week, she will be performing. Wish we had a camcorder. Joey is working at Radio Shack. Doing really well.

I am trying hard to send out cards this year. I have 6 of them done. I need stamps. I will pick them up tomorrow when taking Punkin to preschool in the AM.

BLOG: "Have a happy birthday Tracey in case I don't see you beforehand."

ME: "Thanks blog."